Law and Oranges
Flash Fiction, 900 words. For IAM's Dec. 20 prompt. Enjoy this tale of a frontier Christmas ... in space.
“And he comes into your home? At night?”
“Yes’m.”
“And this is regarded as a good thing?”
Lx’me stared at the Earthling, aghast. This story, brightly told, contradicted everything the Earthling had previously advised her. She gripped what the Earthling had given her – the visitor had called it Peashooter, a good weapon for a good Venusian in a bad neighborhood on a bad planet – and stared.
“Yeah sure, ‘cause his intentions are benign. He brings gifts for children.”
Lx’me wondered if the Earthling was joking. She’d heard they were natural pranksters. Then again, this Earthling had crashed through her roof the other night, and given her the Peashooter. But that had been because a bunch of Martian bandits were on his heels and two defenders were better than one.
“He brings them Peashooters?”
“Oh, uh, not usually. Not regularly. Kids’ll put their eyes out with those.”
The Earthling jerked one side of his mouth, a motion Lx’me had come to associate with mirth. His dark features were brightened by it, his rough voice smoothed by a soft chuckle. He lounged on her veranda, making himself quite at home. He was respectful, so she didn’t mind him around.
Especially with all the Martian bandits prowling about her new homestead on Neptune, on the frontier of the solar system. She longed for Venus, but it was crowded and the air was bad and there just weren’t any jobs for a respectable girl like her.
“What gifts, then?”
“Well, it being 2973, you’d think he’d bring them hoverboards and intraplanetary skiffs and neat-o stuff like that, but I don’t think he understands how time works – I mean, he keeps track of one season and one specific day of the year, but I don’t think he understands that times change. Anyway, last year everyone got Atari 2600s. Real old stuff. Mind you, they were brand new real old stuff. My daughter liked it but my son had had his heart set on an android maid, bless ‘em. When I was a kid it was oranges for three years straight. I didn’t mind, I like oranges.”
“Oranges?”
“A kinda fruit.”
“That sounds nice,” said Lx’me wistfully. She was trying to grow fruits from her homeworld on Neptune, but the orchards were young and it would be years before she would know whether the transplants were successful. “But why does he do this?”
“He wants to,” shrugged the Earthling. She wished she could pronounce his name, but it had a “sssh” sound her Venusian tongue couldn’t produce. “He wants to reward the good. Kids especially.”
“Don’t you want to go home to your children?”
“Yeah, well …” the quirked mouth slimmed into a morose line. “Can’t. Not until I take care of all these bandits. Marshals’ll throw me out if I come back with the job half-done.”
Lx’me thought it best to change the subject.
“And tonight’s that special night? For …” She contorted her mouth to pronounce a slightly different hissing sound, but gave up.
“Yeah, I’ll either get an orange or a bandit down your chimney,” he laughed. “Gotta be prepared either way, so I’m gonna take a nap now and stay up all night waitin’. You sure you don’t want to go stay in town with your sister tonight? I’m grateful for the help but I can’t ask it of ya.”
“No. If they kill you, they’ll rob my house. At least if I’m here maybe the first won’t happen.”
“Maybe I should go.”
“They’ll come here tonight anyway, won’t they?”
“Yeah …” he said softly, pulling his strange hat over his face and laying back in what wan sunlight the terraformed side of Neptune afforded.
Lx’me decided to take a nap, too. She had a big night ahead of her. Maybe her last.
Later, she was awakened to darkness and a sudden clatter. She launched herself out of bed and ran to the source. She heard the metallic pull as, somewhere in the night, the Earthling pulled back the hammer to his own weapon, called Equalizer. And then she heard his barking laugh.
“What happened? Are they … oh.”
He’d lit a lamp and they both stared at the base of her chimney. Six Martian bandits – all that remained of the posse – were knocked out and tied together with pretty red string. A note was taped to the forehead of one.
The Earthling read the note and sighed softly. He handed it over when Lx’me made a noise of inquiry. It was decorated in crayon, depicting an Earth tree covered in strange objects.
She used her universal translator to read it.
“Dear Santa,
Can you send Daddy home for Christmas? That’s all we want. And another cartridge, one of the fun ones. We’ve been good, even Mom says so.”
Love, Nick and Lucia.”
In the meanwhile, the Earthling stuck his head up the chimney and bellowed.
“Well, it ain’t a bag of oranges, but it’ll do for me too, thanks!”
He bid her farewell not long after that, taking the bandit scourge and leaving her and her homestead in peace.
Or so she thought. The next year, to the day, she received a package from Earth. She opened it to find a dozen soft yellow-red globes with hard rinds and sweet, acidic flesh inside. They pleased her tongue but gave her a stomachache after she ate them all.
“Merry Christmas, from Santa,” said the note.
She planted the seeds in her orchard.
oh this was good! I'm not usually a sci-fi person, but I AM a western lover, and love the latest interest in combining westerns into new settings, even sci-fi. This had a great synopsis and the story flowed very well. Well done!